it was like his penis was on wheels.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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