S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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