But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
