halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
