I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Do vagina's smell?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
