there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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