I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
