i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
