Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize