So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
