at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
