tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
