He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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