Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
