Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize