That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
