I understand Curling. That high.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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