Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
