Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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