Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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