I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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