he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?