You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
