It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
