Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize