lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
