SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
