i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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