I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
