we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
