who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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