Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
