Don't you send me to vm
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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