yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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