you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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