her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
