Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
