dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
