she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
