I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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