her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
