White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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