i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
