blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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