Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
