So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
