Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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