It's Friday. Sex?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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