I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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