just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
