no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
