Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize