Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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