God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize