I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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