She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
