he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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