Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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