hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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