Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
