Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
