i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
