If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
