She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
