doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
where am i from again
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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