I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize