what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
