Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Nicole vs. Life
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
