I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
