Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
