lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
