and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
